It's time to take a moment away from the press releases and game marketing bull crap and talk about a very serious and very real affliction that could be suffered by any gamer. Getting really old. That's right, some of us may well be feeling the hand of father time on our shoulder like an uncomfortably friendly uncle whose had too much Chritmas sherry.

I'm well into 30 and unless there's some kind of time altering tear in existence, Groundhog Day like lesson to be learned or become a cyborg, I am probably going to turn 31 next year. Normally I wouldn't mind; bit of snow on the roof, a few extra lines, some salt and pepper in the side burns, hell George Clooney gets an incredible amount of action and he's way older than me. But recently I've discovered that ageing may have some early onset affects for gamers. To put it bluntly, my l33t gamer skillz are deserting me!

Before I had my own kids I trained my three nephews in the art of ass kicking in Goldeneye. Unlike the aforementioned uncomfortably friendly uncle I was the relatively cool uncle (or I thought so) who passed on his comic collection and let them watch Terminator 2. They learned well, they developed skills, circle strafing, headshots, camping, they knew the tricks. In time I got married and had my own brood of gamers in training. Recently we had a family barbeque and the three nephews, now grown up teens with embarrassing facial hair and obsessed with 'chicks and motorbikes', brought there own Xbox 360 controllers for a little Call of Duty 4 and Halo 3 split screen gaming.

I fully expected to give them the gentle but tough beat down I used to give them at Goldeneye. We were playing on a loser hands it over basis and after about two hours I realised I'd only played two rounds. I was regularly and bitterly getting thrashed. My ten year old son Cameron was even handing me an embarrassing beating, telling me he learned to change position after every kill when you're a sniper from watching Enemy at the Gates.

After sitting back and watching them taunting each other and playing for a while I came to the crushing realisation that my reflexes and eye sight were not up to snuff for the competition. The only reason I remain undefeated in my own house at Street Fighter IV is because I always play as Sagat, shameful behaviour I know, but a man needs to keep some dignity. So whats left for me now? Playing Civilisation games for the rest of my life?

Okay, maybe I'm not ready to be taken behind the barn for two rounds in the back of the noggin afore I start biting the horses. But I definitely felt my age as I was annihilated in a game I previously felt I was pretty good at. Am I alone in this? Are other gamers feeling their ability ebb with age? Are we stuck with playing turn based games from here on?

Leave your comments below or hop over to the forums to discuss.

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.

George Burns