Getting paid to do what we all do on our ‘existential down time’ is something most of us contemplate but never really take as a serious possibility. Bit like winning lotto really. Personally, I’d LOVE to see my bank balance start to gain back some of that loss from decades of playing video games on the TV. Ironically, if it ever happens, you could just about guarantee your first pay check will come in ‘MS Points’; much to the audible disapproval of the Minister for War and Recreation. She’ll never understand, so don’t argue. Just slap yourself on the back, and brag online.

One should consider though, the reality of getting payday’s from your hobby. With contracts come schedules. Dates and times to be somewhere and make appearances in places you SRSLY can’t be arsed being. MLG looks for motivation in people who are fundamentally unmotivated, by default. The most motivated among the Couch Gamers are the ones that actually stop to COOK a feed at least once in a 36 hour sesh on whatever’s just been released – yes, MW2, I’m looking at you – and not just have made friends with a member of staff at Eagle Boys to take advantage of the free pizza every Friday and Saturday night after a couple of ‘no shows’ that failed to pick up on his shift. Those pizzas just so happen to be your barbeque chicken and bacon favourite.

Your fans will be dudes. The only chicks who follow Gaming ‘Leets’ around are paid to be there. This is a harsh reality you’ll need to come to terms with early on. They are publicists, media, crew of some sort, and yes, they were already snapped up at University by dudes with degrees. They don’t think ‘Bad Spawn’ and ‘n00b’ jokes are funny. They only smile because your dumb arse is paying them. The ones that you will hook up with will teach you lots of lessons about life throughout your career; or term of contract may be a better way to put it.

Don’t read comments on your Youtube videos. You are hated. You may call it jealousy, but it isn’t. It’s because everyone has played rounds identical and better to the ones you just posted and you’re getting paid for it. You let your team guide the enemy towards you and take credit for the kills. I’d like to see you win for the whole “useless n00b team” when it’s just you against 12 enemy. What’s the strategy for THAT; please, share.

There are endless days playing against knob-ends in your team that you hate but are stuck with because of said contract. You won’t pick your team. You are the equivalent to a spanner, in motorsport. There’s the ego of everyone else – not you, of course – to contend with in the 1337 Death Star, and you will be replaced in a heartbeat if you piss off someone wearing a tie.

A career doing what you love doing for fun will end up killing the fun - or taking the shine of it at least. While you’re ‘Spam Fragging’ professionally, try spending some time getting the suckers paying you to pay for a degree in journalism. At least you can get games for free while you spend the rest of your life writing random crap about them. Don’t ride the job out, PWN it. You owe it to the Couch Gamers paying for the damn pizza.