All right you pansy faced, pansy assed, ass faces. I'm throwing down the gauntlet, hurling it at your quivering pigeon toe feet, slapping your cheeks pink and stealing your chocolate milk (which I will pour down the drain as I prefer coffee milk). Halo: Reach is due out in 100 days (based on retail expectations, so I'm just guessing but don't tell anyone) and we have a challenge to complete before then. I propose, in an ill conceived moment of over excitement brought on by sleep deprivation and a sugar rush, that we complete all the achievements for all existing Halo games on the xbox 360 before Reach is released.

Or at the very least I'm going to take up this challenge, and I could use some help. So I apologise for making fun of your feet, but I'm keeping the milk.

So this is what we're talking about. Every single achievement associated with Halo 3 and all its multiplayer maps, Halo: ODST and Halo Wars achieved and in the bag by the release date of Halo: Reach. Don't worry if you haven't downloaded the three map packs released for Halo 3, if you've got Halo: ODST the seperate multiplayer disc has all the maps you need on it. I should mention that if you bought the original Halo Wars you might need to fork over for the extra maps, I need to check but I believe there's three extra map/mode packs and each one is 800MS. The later released premium edition of Halo Wars comes packed with these extras. If you're fundamentally opposed to spending MS points for some reason, I'm willing to wave these achievements. BUT you'll need to settle for the silver testicle trophy over the completionists golden testicle award which is what I hope to achieve. Also please note these awards are entirely imaginary.

You can follow your progress and others using Xbox.com, Bungie.net, or Halo Waypoint on the Xbox dashboard. There's also a dedicated forum thread right here where I'll be charting my progress. Use this venue to emotionally support your fellow Halo loonies and offer assistance and suggestions.

So here's the achievements we're talking about linked to below. As you can see it's no King Kong style walk in the park, some of these are crazy easy, others are super mega crazy fun time hard such as the Vidmaster achievements. It's okay to be scared, I'm scared, my only 100% completed game is King Kong. But with perseverance, teamwork, skill development and some over the counter anti drowsiness medication I'm sure we can be all we can be.

Failing that you can at least watch as a spectator the inevitable train wreck of me utterly failing this challenge and losing my marbles. Whatever floats your boat.

Halo 3 Achievements Click here for a Guide

Halo: ODST Achievements Click here for a Guide

Halo Wars Achievements Click here for a Guide