Xbox 360: Hey PS3, what’s happening?

PS3: Oh nothin’, man. Just chilling waiting for my boy to get home. Hopefully we’ll be runnin’ some games tonight. Maybe watch a Blu-ray.

Xbox 360: Oh nice. Um, actually I overheard him telling his girlfriend that he was planning to do some online gaming tonight, so… you know… he’s probably gonna be “hittin’ the box”, so to speak lol. I’m just kidding. No, but really. I think he’s going to be playing Call of Duty with me. Straight up.

PS3: Oh, um. Sure. Right. Maybe he was talking about playing some Gran Turismo with me? You know you can play online with…

Xbox 360: What, are you kidding? Over the "P. S. N."? I’m not even sure he knows that you’re capable of getting online. I mean, he never even had to plug anything into you to get on the internet.

PS3: That’s because I’m wireless. I pretty much connected myself.

Xbox 360: Oh, well if you say so. But I dunno man. I mean, what would he even play…

Wii: Whassuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…

PS3: Oh, hey Wi…

Wii: …uuuuuuuuup. Ha ha!

Xbox 360: What’s goin’ on Wii? We haven’t seen you around for a while.

Wii: Yeah brother, not since his birthday party! That shizzle was off the hook! Ha har!

PS3: Yeah, we noticed. Actually, while he was dancing around like an idiot playing Wii Sports, he accidentally let go of your… what do you call it…

Xbox 360: Your Wii-mote.

PS3: Yeah, your ‘Wii-mote’ and it hit me right in the slot-drive.

Wii: Oh man, really? My bad. I guess he was just having a little too much fun. Wasn’t he wearing the wrist strap?

Xbox 360 & PS3: No!

Xbox 360: You should really do a better job of encouraging them to tighten those straps?

Wii: Are you kidding? I practically warn them every 5 seconds that they need to tighten their wrist straps and make sure they’re not within swinging distance of vases. Hell, I even tell them to open up a window and take a break every once in a while.

PS3: Yeah, well it’s obviously not working.

Wii: Not my problem, B. Hey, why weren’t you guys partying that night?

Xbox 360: Well, we wanted to. He even had a mate there who was asking questions about my surround sound and PS3’s Blu-ray player.

Wii: So what happened?

PS3: Well, I guess his girlfriend put the kybosh on it. Apparently "playing games is anti-social, childish and inappropriate."

Wii: But I’m a…

Xbox 360: We know man. You’re a console too. I guess you’re just not seen as a proper gaming console.

PS3: Yeah. They may as well store you in the hallway cupboard with Monopoly and Scrabble. He only switches you on when there are other people over.

Wii: That’s not true! What about when Super Mario Galaxy came out? Or Wii Fit?

Xbox 360: Yeah. For like 5 minutes! Do you know how many hours he’s sunk into Call of Duty, and Halo 3 before that?

PS3: (cough) Gamer-hog (cough)

Xbox 360: What was that?

Wii: Yeah man, PS3 is right. Why don’t you let the rest of us play with him?

Xbox 360: Don’t be hatin’ all up on me. It’s not my fault that I have a whole library full of games, perfect online multiplayer and a well established online community.

PS3: You’re such a conceited douche-bag Xbox. Do you have any idea how powerful I am? My disc capacity alone is as big as your whole hard-drive!

Xbox 360: Not anymo…

Wii: And so what if you’re online community is ‘well established’. At least my developer’s had the presence of mind to not allow talking during my online play. I’ve heard some of the stuff that comes out of his Xbox headset.

PS3: Yeah, that shit’s just not right, bro. When did ‘Rape’ become an accepted word for beating someone?

Xbox 360: Hey I can’t be held responsible for that. Shh shh… he’s home.

(A car pulls into the drive-way)

PS3: (whispers) Hey. What’s he got in his hand? Is that wine?

Wii: Yeah, but I don’t remember any talk of a party.

Xbox 360: No, me either. Hey, is that a DVD copy of Sex and the City? Are they going into the bedroom to watch that?

Wii: Ha ha, my boy’s getting’ laid tonight!

PS3: Yeah, looks like he’s really putting in the effort. I don’t know how he’s going to get through that horrible piece of oestrogen soaked bullshit.

(Door slams)

Xbox 360: Well guys, I guess we’ve got the night off. Good thing too. It’s a hot night tonight. I probably would’ve overheated.

Wii: You still have that problem? Man, I don’t think he’s ever even turned me off. This light on the front of me is so hard to distinguish between on and off. I don’t even think he knows I can be turned off.

PS3: That’s a good thing. He’s usually maggot by the time he goes to play with you.

Wii: Yeah, well at least my controller is motion sensitive.

PS3: Hey! What about my Sixaxxis?

(Silence)

Xbox 360, PS3 and Wii: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

PC: Hey guys? What’s going on out there?

Xbox 360, PS3 and Wii:SHUTTUP PC!