We Support an R18+ game Classification

If ever there was a psychological malady stemming from a wonky sense of priorities, welcome to the poster child of diagnoses.

After committing to relocation from Florida to Canberra, the never ending slew of answers for which I needed to conjure correct questions began to emerge. Now for those yet to experience the joys of substantial uproot, imagine calling Telstra…only to be faced with comprehending five pitiful customer service reps…simultaneously. That, my friends, is international relocation planning in a nutshell.

The cold sweats and accompanying shudders appeared almost out of the blue. Screw visa logistics: how would I ever get my hands on NHL 11 for the PS3 in October, likewise deduce console compatibility for a PSP no longer on native soil? The Dance of Joy accompanied discovery of my treasured backwards-compatible 80GB PS3 secretly dual voltage.

Akin to most game journalists abroad, what I knew of the Oz gaming environment centered on a three salient topics. Some jackass wanting to censor games to compensate for an unloved childhood. A couple of fairly high profile Oz studio collapses unceremoniously shut down by bigger brother counterparts. Finally, random title release dates illogically out of whack with both Southeast Asia and North America. It appeared Play-Asia was going to become more of a bedfellow than originally planned.

First steps were meticulously calculated.  A key decision: sacrifice warmth for multiplayer via lugging the PS3 as carry-on in lieu of additional jumpers. Scout out a temporary HTDV solution to bridge the gap between household goods arrival. Locate an ADSL2+ provider suitable for MLB.TV streaming and/or Playstation Store shopping. Check, check, and check in 3 weeks’ time. Let it be stated, however, that I’m f’in freezing.

Thankfully a December visit preceded ultimate relocation, or the Jane Goodall in me assessing interactive entertainment costs would’ve inspired an aortic red ring of death. Ripoff – as you all unfortunately know - would be an understatement of global, epic proportions.

Sleuth work began in earnest to locate any/every outlet absent of organ donation requirement to secure the latest ‘Prince of Persia’ title. Simply put: only a lobotomy would warrant dropping $80 for the new Metal Gear PSP offering. Moreover, I needed to remedy Captain Cook’s vital oversight in establishing friendly confines where region free games could easily be swapped.

On this last point, Oz gamers – I discovered – are clever buggers. The half dozen message board threads to sneak in NTSC titles via home printed classification labels was both sheer genius and the greatest ‘sticking it to the Man’ in recent memory.

Still, semi-detailed conversations (plus accompanying education on ‘region free’ dynamics) with select Game and EB Games Assistant Managers produced surprising, positive results. No need for homemade stickers, it appeared, for almost all titles. NTSC stigma be damned: Les Bon Ton Roulet in trading in top notch NTSC PS3/PSP games I eventually will tire of.

Alice plunged deeper down the rabbit hole. Despite a horrendous broadband offering spectrum fused to a continuously looming download cap, Australians were surprisingly committed to multiplayer. Any group of gamers knowingly kicking the shit out of their email in lieu of one more online match in FIFA 10 are instant mates of mine.

Moreover, these same gamers – despite the Al Capone-inspired prices – doled out for top titles en masse. Yes, they smartly gave the middle finger to $110 for UFC 2010 Undisputed…a great title but not worthy of two months’ worth of daily skinny flat whites. Additional kudos to vibrant gaming message boards where political correctness be damned. Finally; a leash on pre-pubescent Call of Duty campers flapping their textual gums.

While foibles abound - we certainly didn’t make out on the first date - first impressions are worthy of a hookup call after 3 days’ time.  Looking forward to the dialog on both the forums and subsequent columns. Postcard to follow.

-Yankee Paul