Back when I was in grade 8, when McDonald’s 30 cent ice creams actually cost 30 cents, videogame quality was measured in bits and the new 64 bit Nintendo was peaking its glorious head over the horizon. The local arcade had this deal where if you gave them $20, you could play every machine in the place for two hours. Every single one. At the time I couldn’t understand how these establishments were making any money. Surely such a generous deal meant that they were hemorrhaging funds and I was careful not to take advantage of their generosity for fear of them closing down and being replaced by a City Beach. How could they be practically giving away the use of these machines!? I digress…

While air hockey certainly was a favourite, playing Daytona, Virtua-Cop or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with a group of mates was the most fun a kid my age could have. This multiplayer experience became my benchmark for online fun. Since then nothing has compared. Sure Halo 2 pioneered a near flawless matchmaking system and Gears of War brought true immersive visuals to one of the best co-op games so far, but nothing since has been able to match the atmosphere and camaraderie… until now.

Exploding onto my Xbox 360 comes Castle Crashers. A game that has restored my faith in online co-op and Xbox Live Arcade itself. It will take the platform from, “Yeah it’s good… for an Xbox Live Arcade game” to “Holy shit, can you believe I just got this game, and I didn’t even have to leave the couch!?”

Castle Crashers is a 1-4 player Double Dragon-style Xbox Live Arcade game from Behemoth. The art is by Dan Paladin (Alien Hominid) which alone makes it well worth the price of admission and don’t even get me started on how great it looks in HD.

You start out by selecting one of the four core characters and jump right into the action. There you’ll discover that a) Your castle is under attack, b) some wizard dude has stolen the Dark Crystal and c) They’ve also taken the king’s three hot daughters and one purple-haired, “but-her-face” that seems to be so repulsive that they hide her face for nearly the entire game. This turned out to be one of many running gags that had laughs bellowing out of my headset speaker.

The story itself is as simple as the gameplay mechanics. Thumbstick to move, A to jump, X, Y and B to attack and hold the right trigger for magic. It works a treat and proudly wears the title of button masher.

As you progress you’ll discover new weapons, unlockable characters, animal orbs that help you along the way and countless enemies that are as cleverly designed as they are fun to belt. There is a leveling system that Behemoth themselves describe as ‘light’, consisting of Strength, Defense, Magic and Agility and allows plenty of customization for what is essentially a good ol’ platformer.

The jewel in the crown of this exceptionally well produced title is its ability to allow you and your other mates the opportunity to wipe the floor with every single knight or skeleton the game throws at you. In fact without a little help from my friends, the final few levels of the game would have frustrated me immensely and could quite possibly have soured the whole experience.

The action on-screen becomes so frenetic that most of the time nobody could tell what was going on. Our maxed out characters were burning, electrocuting, freezing or poisoning their way through hordes and hordes of enemies and at times it resembled a Pro Hart float at the Mardi Gras. And it was awesome. The ‘light’ RPG side of things really has potential for all four of you to work as a well oiled machine, just don’t steal your mates Giraffe Orb. But if you do (because you will), be prepared for your thirty-something mate to regress to 4 years of age , carry on like you just took his Tonka truck and crack-the-sads for a good 3 or 4 worlds.

The one negative that I can think of is that its re-playability is probably not as long as you might hope. It is the nature of the beast that an Xbox Live Arcade game won’t give you as much playing time as a retail title would. It’s poor PvP modes are fun for a little while, but before too long you’ll find yourself banding together with your foes to take on the computer in co-op mode.

Apparently there is also a bug with the matchmaking that makes finding others to play with online a chore. To be honest, while I did experience this once or twice, hooking up with guys from my friends list yielded an error free experience and really, who are they kidding? When was the last time we Aussies had a game that had a hassle free online mode?

When I first heard that the Xbox 360 was adding something called ‘Arcade’, I was pumped and was yet another reason to grab the Xbox 360 and not wait for the PS3 (yeah right, I was always going to get the Xbox). As the games that slowly trickled down came and went, I quickly realized that sadly, they weren’t going to give me the same lolly-fueled, hypo rush that   pushed me and the boys through countless levels of Metal Slug so many years ago. Games like Castle Crashers and the recently released Braid have breathed new life into the mediocre Xbox Live Arcade. Hopefully more developers will realise its true potential and develop some serious games for it.

5 stars, now who wants to hit the arcade?